One of the most important things in our life, if not the most valuable, is the relationship. Everything about us can be analyzed as a relationship. Relationship with oneself, family, community, what we do, and with the whole gamut of emotions and situations we go through in our life. Our maturity in life is a measure of our maturity in relationships.
Relationships give us meaning, value, perspective, insight, motivation, and the moorings in life. But it, also, comes with much heartache, headache, confusion, and chaos. Just like freedom, relationship is nuanced, ironic, and protean. Just like freedom, it is a very important concept, and it is essential we go over this in this rapidly transmorphing world.
Hopefully, as we go through our life, our understanding of the relationship gets deeper and wider. We could talk about the relationship in many different ways. But one of the most fundamental realization for a better relationship is that nobody is perfect.
One of the advantages of having a big loving and supporting family is that even the people you love and who love you are not perfect. You just have to accept the fact, no matter how painful it is at times. Of course, the realization starts from myself that I’m not perfect.
I’ve been thinking about the topic for a long time, and one of the impetus to think through the topic is a column by David Brooks, ‘Suffering Fools Gladly.’ David Brooks says that “G.K. Chesterton had the best advice on suffering fools gladly. He put the emphasis on the gladly.”
He quotes Chesterton: “A man and a woman cannot live together without having against each other a kind of everlasting joke. Each has discovered that the other is a fool, but a great fool. This largeness, this grossness and gorgeousness of folly is the thing which we all find about those with whom we are in intimate contact; and it is the one enduring basis of affection, and even of respect.” I quote this because I agree and I cannot write it this precisely and beautifully.
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David Brooks also mentions Joe Biden as a politician who handles fools well: “Natural politicians do so, too. Joe Biden is effective because he loves humanity in all its shapes and sizes.” Joe Biden proved that it is the relationship which gets the deal done.
Senator Mitch McConnell wanted Joe Biden for fiscal cliff negotiation because he has had better relationship with him than Harry Reid or Barack Obama. Realizing nobody is perfect, suffering fools gladly, and loving humanity in all its shapes and sizes are the fundamentals of the good relationship; good relationship is one of the most important part of our life. Maureen Dowd had a very interesting line. “Joe Biden has a valuable skill: He knows how to stoop to conquer: A very sharp way of saying that the relationship is important.
In this age of ‘alone together,’ the relationship is never more important. But, then, the relationship keeps evolving, and I keep finding my imperfections. There lies my humility.
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